Clinton Haters Never Underestimate, Rather Exploit the Stupidity of the General Public

Jews represent a whopping 3.5% of Florida's population. But they publish 100% of the New York Times - so up yours, you anti-semitic, neo-nazi Mel Gibson fans!

Anyway, these stories keep churning up all over the place about whether the Jews will support Obama - or whether they think he secretly keeps a prayer rug in his briefcase, whipping it out in the VIP section of his bus every few hours to praise Allah.

But members of the Obama press pool report that the screams of "Yalalalalalala!" are simply Swahili or Hawaiian or Irish or whatever for "Yes We Can!"

At any rate, I don't have a research department - but I wonder how many of these reports about the Jewish vote are written by... Catholics. See, I didn't say what you thought I would - no conspiracy theories about disproportional Jewish influence on the media here, baby. Mel Gibson is dead to me!

So what can Obama do to appease the Jews? I don't know, cuz I'm not Jewish. I know this because, when I lived in NYC, I was told by one of my co-workers that I couldn't go to the party everyone else was going to after work. It was for Catholics only. (Don't you try to trip me up - I'm too smart for that.)

But I think the Jews are pretty big on protecting Israel. And Iran doesn't like Israel. One of them has nuclear weapons, and the other one is trying to build them - and if it doesn't stop soon, then there will NEVER be peace in the Middle East. Maybe they'll even have a WAR! Kinda like the one in Iraq I guess - but worse, for some reason.

Anyway, Obama says he would be open to speaking with the leader of Iran - a man suffering from Tourette syndrome who screams "Death to Israel! Kill the Jews! Yalalalalala!" pretty much every time someone hands him an international microphone. Oh, those wacky radical Muslims! Can't we all just get along?

So I can understand why the Jews might be a bit wary of Obama. If Ms. Manners were still alive, she would tell him that it's just not polite to speak with your best friend's sworn enemies.

So here at ClintonHaters.com, we'll make certain that we keep you informed of the political leanings of 3.5% of Florida's population.

Because if we don't - who will? The New York Times?

[Okay - I'm only publishing this to make certain this blog never receives any mass media coverage, thereby alerting the ever-dangerous Socks Clinton to my existence. She'll shred me alive. Keeping it under the radar with this one, folks.]